The Inklings: On Not Doing The Hard Parts Alone

There is a kind of tiredness that complex healthcare produces in patients and the people who love them, and it does not match any of the usual descriptions. It is not just physical. It is not depression, exactly, although it can borrow some of its furniture. It is the tiredness of carrying a long story for too long without anyone else who has read all of it.

The story is the file in your head. The medication that worked in March and stopped working in July. The specialist who said one thing while the primary care clinician was saying another. The night in the emergency department that nobody outside your household actually knows about. That story is real. It is also unreasonable to ask one person, or one exhausted household, to be the only ones who hold it.